The Ultimate Power Ballad

There's a legendary story in Yonkers about Ace Frehley getting his ass kicked up and down the parking lot at the Candlight on Central Avenue. Apparently, he was waxing poetic about his days in the limelight and a somewhat disgruntled customer turned around and told him "I don't give a fuck who you used to be."

Apparently, that led to the ass kicking.

Oye! Sylvia!

As if the original wasn't embarrassing enough. Leave it JBJ to make it even worse.

Oh, and by the way, I would like to thank my beloved friends (you know who you are) for getting this one stuck in my head. This may be worse than the Delta Dawn incident of 2001.

Warrant--Cherry Pie

This is shameful on so many levels. So many.

K7--Come Baby Come

This is the quintessential teenaged boy song. It's juvenile. It's vaguely dirty. And it cracks me up all the time. Somewhere out there some poor woman is still bragging that she was one of the bikini girls.

And I love it. Put it on in the car. Crank it up loud. And drive too fast.

Harper Valley PTA

As far as I am concerned this is the definitive version of this song. Dolly Parton be damned, Jeannie C. Riley totally rocks the bouffant. And I totally dig the purple plaid jacket.

Brandy (I promised I would take requests)

Lonely Boy - Andrew Gold